Trump Declares "WHITE" the official color of the United States

Washington (The Loose Nukes): Earlier today, President Donald Trump signed an executive order declaring “white” to be the official color of the United States of America.

Trump's order directs Federal government agencies to erase all color from documents, images, and anything else that might be disseminated to the public. He also announced new labelling standards to be written and enforced by the newly-formed Department of Labelling.

The order directs that every organization and business must follow the same guidelines as Federal agencies, and to recall all products containing any colors other than white. Any entity that disobeys the executive order will be shuttered, and its assets sold off at auction, the proceeds being transferred to the Department of Government Efficiency.

Crayola LLC, known for its iconic Crayola Crayons, responded immediately to Trump's demands, issuing a set of crayons with only the color white, and with new and government-approved labelling. They recalled all earlier crayons, and retailers have been scrambling to get the products off their shelves to make room for the white crayons.

Countless legal scholars have expressed confusion about the latest executive order, and some have questioned whether it could be interpreted as requiring the removal, or even deportation, of any employees who are not "white". The White House refused to respond to this question, and both Trump and Musk have been surprisingly silent about the topic on social media.

The executive order has raised a new discussion and debate about “color”, and its meaning.

A Washington, D.C.-based designer, specializing in color theory, reflected on the complex physics of color: "Sunlight contains colors at all wavelengths. All these wavelengths together make white light. When that white light hits an object, we perceive that object's color as the colors that reflect from the object. We see a white object when the object reflects color at all wavelengths. As a result, white is the absence of color for how we see the object, but not for the light itself, which contains all colors."

When asked to interpret that explanation for laypeople, he said, “In other words, whiteness cannot exist without all the colors of the Rainbow. This is something Trump will never understand. And, he has no idea of the stupidity of his actions. Next, they will be banning all colored paper and colored ink, and the ultimate result will be that we won't be able to see or read anything because it's all white. But hey, maybe that is what they want.”

South Korea Could Have It's Own Boomer

Seoul, South Korea (The Loose Nukes): Republic of Korea (ROK) President Yoon Suk Yeol and First Lady of the Republic of Korea Kim Keon Hee recently kicked the tires on one of the US Navy's aging OHIO Class “Trident” submarines in anticipation of possibly purchasing one of the soon to be retired ballistic missile submarines for their own nation.

The Ohio-class ballistic-missile submarine USS Kentucky (SSBN 737) was on a port visit in Busan, South Korea on July 19, 2023 to not only demonstrate the United States’ ironclad commitment to the (ROK) for its extended deterrence guarantee, but to also give the President and First Lady a chance to tour and test drive a fully functioning ballistic missile submarine. A secondary purpose was to scare the pants off of President of the State Affairs Commission of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea Kim Jong Un.

ROK First Lady Kim Keon Hee checking out North Korea.

The 14 OHIO Class submarines currently in service, which represent the US Navy's kick-ass nuclear deterrent force, are scheduled to be replaced by the new and improved Columbia Class, which is slated to begin entering service in 2031. As the aging OHIO Class boats are taken out of service there will be a tremendous opportunity for countries like South Korea to have their very own nuclear deterrent and no longer need to rely on the US nuclear umbrella. It will also provide an opportunity for the US Navy to make some extra cash to keep building all the ships on its wish list.

Besides the deterrence aspect of owning your own ballistic missile submarine, there is also the major prestige factor of owning a vessel capable of incinerating an entire continent with the full complement Trident II D5 missiles loaded with a the maximum number of thermonuclear warheads.

"Ballistic missile submarines (SSBNs) are the most powerful nuclear assets in the world," said Park Won Gon, professor at Ewha Womans University in Seoul. "North Korea's solid-fuel Hwasong-18 ICBM is no match to the SSBN. … North Korea is going to realize the imbalance between its nuclear capabilities and the U.S.'" After those comments, Park was overheard saying, “If Kim messes with us he will be toast.”

During the guided tour of the Kentucky the first couple viewed the missile compartment and they were blown away by the explanation of the Trident missile's capabilities, and nearly choked on their lunch with the realization that even after incinerating all of North Korea in a first strike (which is what Trident is designed for), they would still have plenty of missiles left to deal with China should the need arise.

The couple was assured by U.S. National Security Council Coordinator for Indo-Pacific Affairs Kurt Campbell that the United States is committed to strengthening the ROK to meet its sovereign self-defense needs and to improve its capabilities to operate with U.S. forces to address shared security challenges. At the inaugural meeting of the long-lauded US-ROK Nuclear Consultative Group (NCG), coinciding with the Kentucky's port call, Campbell stated that the US is committed to ensure that the ROK is prepared to show Kim Jong Un who's boss on the Korean peninsula.

When President Yoon asked about the potential price tag, a representative of the U.S. Department of State’s Bureau of Political-Military Affairs assured him that he would be getting a huge price break, and that the Arms Export Control Act (AECA), as amended [22 U.S.C. 2751, et. seq.], authorizes the President to finance procurement of defense articles and services for foreign countries and international organizations. Foreign Military Financing (FMF) may be provided to a partner nation on either a grant (non-repayable) or direct loan basis.

The commanding officer of the Kentucky, Lee Fake (Gold crew), assured President Yoon that prior to purchase, their submarine would receive a thorough overhaul, including reactor refueling.

When asked how he felt about the prospect of owning his very own ballistic missile submarine bristling withorth enough thermonuclear firepower to start World War III, President Yoon retorted, “How can one put a vualue on such a treasure as ultimate nuclear deterrence? I am humbled, and at the same time somewhat agiddy, at the thought of such power.”

Disclaimer/Fine Print/etc: Although most of what is written in this post is true, the ROK first couple did not test drive an OHIO Class submarine, nor do they intend to purchase one for their country (as far as this journalist is aware).

US pulls out of the United Nations; No one notices

UNITED NATIONS, June 25, 2018 (The Loose Nukes) -- UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres regretted the withdrawal of the United States from the United Nations, said his spokesman earlier today.

"The secretary-general would have preferred for the United States to remain in the global body," said Stephane Dujarric, the spokesman, in a note to correspondents. "The United Nations came into being in 1945, following the devastation of the Second World War, with one central mission: the maintenance of international peace and security. The UN also promotes and protects human rights, promotes sustainable development, and upholds international law. The support of the US working for these goals, rather than against them, would be a huge boost for the UN."

The remarks came shortly after U.S. Permanent Representative to the United Nations Nikki Haley announced in Washington that the United States is officially withdrawing from the UN. The message was met by a standing ovation on the floor of the General Assembly, where 192 member states - the US was conspicuously absent - were convened. The session resumed without any more mention of the US.

U.S. President Donald Donald Trump spoke of his decision, saying, “The United Nations has such great potential but right now it is just a club for people to get together, talk and have a good time. So sad! It's a bad deal for the US. We should get our money back."

A White House source, who wished to remain anonymous, said that Trump's decision came immediately following a meeting with his National Security Advisor, John Bolton.

Bolton is known for having said, in a 1994 speech referring to the UN's headquarters, that, "The Secretariat building in New York has 38 stories; if you lost 10 stories today, it wouldn't make a bit of difference," He added later: "There's no such thing as the United Nations."

In Geneva, the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights Zeid Ra'ad Al Hussein responded that the U.S. withdrawal is "not really surprising. The US has been going it alone for quite a while. This decision is the culmination of that decline."

What's better than a bomb shelter? The Armeggedon 2000!

I know, I know... everyone's in crisis mode now that President-Elect Trump is about to take over The White House, and will have total (and essentially unchallenged) authority to launch nuclear weapons. Egads!!!

So you've been thinking about digging a bomb shelter like people did back in the day. But you live in an apartment, or the soil in your back yard has rocks the size of an elephant. What are you supposed to do (besides "duck and cover")?

Well, dig no further. If you've got a vehicle with a trailer hitch, you are in luck!

Introducing the Armageddon 2000 Nuclear Hardened Travel Trailer. It's the only travel trailer that you can enjoy all year long and, when the mushroom clouds start to appear on the horizon, instantly converts into a bomb shelter.

The Armageddon 2000 is built with special materials to resist incineration from a nuclear blast. It boasts lead shielding and Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) protection for all your sensitive electronics. Coupled with special air filters designed to keep your breathing air radioisotope free, and extra large capacity water tanks, the Armageedon 2000 is just what you need to survive any nuclear war, whether at home or away.

The Armageddon 2000 ready to deploy!

Should you decide to let a lucky few people join you in your new portable digs, they will immediately recognize your rolling bomb shelter thanks to the official civil defense insignia posted prominently by the entrance door.

Designed by legendary shelter designer Dave Patterson, a member of Veterans for Peace, San Diego Chapter, the Armageddon 2000 will let you roll down to the beach at sunset, then watch the sun rise twice, or maybe a hundred times, and finally kick back and wait a few decades once it's finally safe to go outside or all your canned food runs out (whichever comes first) and breathe the air or drink the water or eat anything that might grow after the long nuclear winter.

A host of cool optional accessories are available, including continuous radioisotope monitoring instrumentation and direct communications link to the US Government's Cheyenne Mountain to receive advance warning of pending nuclear attack so you can beat the masses to the best KOA campsites near you.

The Armageddon 2000 is not only stylish and streamlined; it is AFFORDABLE! Why spend all that time and money to build an in-ground bomb shelter, when you can have one right now - you never know when the bombs will start dropping - for far less money, and be able to take to any number of scenic spots AND get a free campsite!

It doesn't get any better than the Armageddon 2000. Call today. Operators are standing by...

John Oliver Speaks on Weapons of Mass Insanity

HBO's John Oliver summed up nuclear weapons the other night in one sentence:  “nuclear weapons are basically like America’s T-rex arms, they’re essentially useless.” So there you go!!!

He also says that the public "does not give enough of a sh*t" about nuclear weapons. Of course, in the U.S. we spend most of our time arguing about the really important issues... like gay marriage, a woman's right to control her contraceptive destiny, and a host of really important things that could really bring about the end of the world!!! 

You simply must watch this video of Oliver laying bare how bloody lucky we are to have survived the last nearly 70 years, how stupid we must be to continue to rely on nuclear weapons, and why we simply must get rid of every last one of these omnicidal weapons!!! Simply brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NSA Fall Festival: Mark your calendars!

Hey Everyone!  Mark your calendars (see the poster below) well in advance to join us at the National Security Agency (NSA) headquarters for the annual NSA Fall Festival.  It's a great opportunity for everyday people just like you and me to get up close and (not quite too) personal with the NSA.

Of course, you won't learn anything about how the NSA really works; heck, that's an extremely closely guarded secret... well, sort of (no thanks to that Ed Snowden guy).  But hey; it's a time to have fun, and all at great taxpayer expense.  After all; you the taxpayers are paying through the nose so that we can continue our unabated, endless spying on just about everyone on the planet. So what's a little more $$$ on some good, old-fashioned fun.

This is one for the entire family, even the family dog.  In fact, there will be a special booth where NSA employees will embed your family pooch with a free teeny weeny microchip that will allow the NSA to listen in on your family's activities with even greater ease than we do now. The chip also helps you keep track of your pet's wanderings.

There will be plenty of parking, so there is no need for carpooling.  In fact, we advise against it. NSA employees, or more likely private contractors, will be placing secret monitoring/tracking devices on every automobile at the Fall Festival.

An additional free bonus for everyone who attends will be an automatic retinal scan as you enter the Festival area.  It's just one more reason we're building a brand new huge data storage facility in Utah that can actually store yottabytes of data.  Geez!!! Even most folks at the NSA have a hard time fathoming such large numbers.

And kids; you will have the opportunity to learn more about an exciting and profitable (if you choose to work for one of the scores of private contractors doing security work for our nation) career in mass surveillance the protection of our global interests nation.

Tell your family, friends and co-workers. Everyone's welcome to this event.  Check the NSA Website for more details. See you in September!

NSA - Defending Our Nation: Securing The Future

Trident Makes Bad People Go Away!

The following graphic was issued this week by the United States Navy, Commander, Submarine Forces in an effort to help members of Congress better understand the rationale for building a new fleet of ballistic missile submarines to replace the current Trident fleet.

The Trident II D-5 missiles deployed on the nation's 14 OHIO Class submarines carry multiple thermonuclear warheads, each one many times the destructive force of the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Rear Adm. Joesph Tofalo has said that, “A single Trident submarine is the sixth largest nuclear nation in the world all by itself."

Carrying enough nuclear warheads to incinerate an entire continent, Trident is certainly an important tool in our nation's military tool box, and it most certainly can make lots of people "go away" in a flash.

The successor to the OHIO Class submarine fleet is known as the SSBN(X), and is currently in research and development.  A fleet of 12 new submarines will cost approximately $100 billion to build.

NSA Eavesdropping on GOD!!!

The National Security Agency is denying a report that it eavesdropped on the Pope, in addition to telephone prayer lines of a number of other religious denominations.

Before the Italian magazine, Panorama, published the report, it issued a press release that read "NSA had tapped the pope,"according to Reuters. The eavesdropping was on calls from inside and outside the Vatican and reportedly spanned a few weeks from December 10, 2012 to January 8, 2013. Additional calls to prayer lines of various denominations were also reportedly tapped.

"The National Security Agency does not target the Vatican or God."

- NSA spokeswoman

The calls were reportedly categorized in five groups: leadership intentions, threats to the financial system, foreign policy objectives, human rights and conversations with God. The magazine did not cite any sources in its report.

In addition to the eavesdropping on the Vatican, the NSA is alleged to have tapped the phone lines of various prayer lines to obtain information on people's conversations with God.

One of the largest prayer line operations is the 700 Club Prayer Centers, which receives over four million calls each year and provides a direct connection to God.  700 Club's Pat Robertson was disturbed by the spying revelations, and voiced his concern that the government is "disturbing the separation of church and state."

Pat Robertson

An NSA spokeswoman, denied the report, including the allegations of spying on God.

"The National Security Agency does not target the Vatican or God", she said in an email to The Los Angeles Times. "Assertions that NSA has targeted the Vatican, published in Italy's Panorama magazine, are not true."

The NSA’s post-Sept. 11 surveillance programs are coming under increased criticism at home and abroad, capped by recent revelations that the NSA monitored German Chancellor Angela Merkel's cellphone and those of up to 34 other world leaders. Those reports relied on documents provided by former NSA analyst Edward Snowden.

Documents released by Snowden have not yet produced any revelations of the NSA's spying on God, but according to some sources there are many yet to be released.

Congressional leaders who have been staunch supporters of the NSA programs are now saying it is time for a close examination. Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner, said, "We live in a Christian nation.  God has Constitutional rights too you know. Enough is enough with this out of control wiretapping."

GOD

Sarah Palin, who has been crisscrossing the country touting her new book about the "war on Christmas", said that she was shocked, but not surprised, about the NSA's spying on God.  "Next thing you know they'll be spying on Santa Claus.  We need to put good old Christian values like prayer and Christmas trees back into our government," said Palin.

The White House said Tuesday that President Barack Obama had ordered a full review of the programs and was considering changes.

National Intelligence Director James Clapper defended the secret surveillance that sweeps up phone records and emails of millions of Americans as vital to protecting against terrorists. Clapper had no comment on God.

God had no comment on Clapper, or the wiretapping issue.

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Editor's Note:  OK, so some of this is true and some is not.  What difference does it make???

Pizza delivery blamed for nuclear safety violations

US Air Force officers entrusted with the launch keys to long-range nuclear missiles have been caught twice this year leaving open a blast door that is intended to help prevent a terrorist or other intruder from entering their underground command post, Air Force officials said.

The blast doors are never to be left open if one of the crew members inside is asleep – as was the case in both these instances – out of concern for the trouble an intruder could cause, including the compromising of secret launch codes.

An investigative report by the Associated Press found that the most recent violations involving the blast doors were caused by the chronic cravings of launch control crews for delivery pizza.  A launch control officer who wished to remain anonymous told AP that Domino's Pizza, which has a contract with Global Strike Command as its sole pizza supplier, requires that the blast doors remain open whenever an order is called in so that the company can fulfill its "30-minutes or it's free" guarantee.

The blast door violations are another sign of trouble in the handling of the nation's nuclear arsenal. The AP has discovered a series of problems within the ICBM force, including a failed safety inspection, the temporary sidelining of launch officers deemed unfit for duty and the abrupt firing last week of the two-star general in charge. They also discovered that delivery personnel for Domino's Pizza, the official pizza supplier for the Global Strike Command, are not required to receive security clearances prior to entering the top-security launch complexes.

The problems, including low morale, underscore the challenges of feeding personnel and keeping safe such a deadly force that is constantly on alert but is unlikely ever to be used.

The willingness of some launch officers to leave the blast door open at times reflects a mindset far removed from Cold War days when the US lived in fear of a nuclear strike by the Soviet Union. It was that fear that provided the original rationale for placing ICBMs in reinforced underground silos and the launch control officers in buried capsules – so that in the event of an attack the officers might survive to launch a counterattack.

Today the fear of such an attack has all but disappeared and, with it, the appeal of strictly following the blast door rule.  

The crews who operate the missiles are still expected to follow rules without fail, including the prohibition against having the blast door open when only one crew member is awake or when expecting a pizza delivery.

An unnamed missileer told AP that launch control officers often order multiple pizzas at a time and freeze them for later consumption in the event of a nuclear war after which they would be stuck underground for an indefinite time period.  The officer said that, "There's nothing more comforting than the aroma of re-heated pizza after Armageddon."

A spokesperson for Global Strike Command said that the agency is reconsidering its relationship with Domino's, and is considering changing suppliers to Papa Murphy's Take 'N' Bake Pizza in order to avoid the problem with blast doors.

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Editor's Postscript: Material that was plagiarized and embellished in this post was stolen from an article in The Guardian (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/23/us-air-force-nuclear-missiles-blast-door).

Twinkies' shelf-life nearly doubles!

The US Department of Homeland Security has teamed up with the new owners of Hostess Brands to increase the shelf-life of Twinkies snack cakes.

With ever-increasing concerns about the inability of government agencies to assist survivors in certain catastrophic disaster scenarios for weeks or longer, Homeland Security turned to the makers of the beloved snack food for help.

The cream-filled Twinkies many Americans grew up snacking during the Cold War made a comeback after being off shelves for nearly nine months following the bankruptcy of Hostess Brands.

According to the new owners, those spongy yellow cakes taste remarkably like the original.  The package lists a whopping 25 ingredients, and the new Twinkies have a shelf-life of 45 days, nearly three weeks longer than the 26 day shelf-life just a year ago.

With the increased shelf-life, Homeland Security has added Twinkies to its official list of supplies approved for home fallout shelters.

When asked to comment, Daren Metropoulos, principal of Metropoulos & Co., one of the two companies that bought the rights to Twinkies from the bankrupt Hostess Brands earlier this year, said he was pleased with the government's endorsement of his company's product.

He added that researchers in the company's product development laboratory are currently working to increase the Twinkies' shelf life even longer - up to six months.  "Who knows," Metropoulos mused, "in a full-scale nuclear war people will be stuck in those bomb shelters for a long time. They're going to need comfort food"

Organic Plutonium: Get it while it's HOT!

If you've had problems sourcing organic Plutonium lately, have no fear.  There might still be some cans left on the shelves at The Black Hole, Los Alamos, New Mexico.  Granted, now that The Black Hole's proprietor, Ed Grothus, is no longer with us - rest in peace Ed - many of Ed's signature items are hard to come by.

The 8 ounce size Organic Plutonium was always a HOT item.  People from many countries, including Iran, North Korea, Myanmar, Israel and Brazil used to come asking for Ed's signature Organic Plutonium.

Organic Plutonium is fat free, wheat free, dairy free, GMO free, zero calories, vegan, no artificial colors or flavors, AND no sugar added.  Hmmmm Good!!!  And HOT!!!  What's more, it contains 14.0726918 nutritious Curies of radiation.  Yum!

 

Don't see a "use by" date on the can?  No worries!  The Plutonium 239, just like the stuff used in those thermonuclear warheads, has a half life of 24,000 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It will keep forever.  Now that's shelf life! 

Note to people with nut allergies: This product is made in facilities run by a bunch of nuts.

For Christmas, 1996, Ed sent a can marked ORGANIC PLUTONIUM to then-President Clinton. “In his letter to the President, Ed said ‘If you eat this, you’ll walk with a halo’,” says Ed. “‘If you feed some to Socks [Clinton's cat], the cat’ll walk with a halo.’” The Secret Service was not amused, and — as Ed commemorates in a newspaper clipping he proudly displayed near his front desk — they showed up to “see if there was any insanity in my family.”

Those of us who work in the nuclear weapons abolition business know where the real nuts are!!!

Wondering whether Organic Plutonium is safe for human consumption???  Don't worry!  The U.S. government began testing Plutonium on human subjects in 1945, and continued its testing into the 1970s.  From pregnant women to developmentally disabled children, the government tested Plutonium on a wide range of subjects.  That's our tax dollars hard at work!?!?!?

So stock up on some Organic Plutonium today.  There just might be a few cans left if the folks from the Nunn-Lugar Cooperative Threat Reduction (CTR) Program didn't get there first.

Be sure to check Groupon.com for a coupon good for 20 percent off your first can.

Office of Homeland Security Cancels Christmas

Ellis Island -   Three wise men were arrested today attempting to illegally enter the United States.
The Iraqi nationals were carrying massive amounts of flammable substances known as "frankincense" and "myrrh." While not explosives themselves, experts revealed that these two substances could be used as a fuse to detonate a larger bomb. The three alleged terrorists were also carrying gold, presumably to finance the rest of their mission.

Also implicated in the plot were two Palestinians named Joseph and Mary. An anonymous source close to the family overheard Mary bragging that her son would "bring down the mighty from their thrones and lift up the lowly." In what appears to be a call to anarchy, the couple claims their son will someday "help prisoners escape captivity."

"These people match our terrorist profile perfectly," an official source reported.

All of the suspects claimed they heard angels singing of a new era of hope for the afflicted and poor. As one Wall Street official put it, "These one-world wackos are talking about overturning the entire economic and political hierarchy that holds the civilized world together. I don't care what some angel sang; God wants the status quo - by definition."  

A somber White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced that it might be prudent to cancel (or at least postpone) Christmas until others in the plot are rounded up. "I assure you that this measure is temporary. The president loves Christmas as much as anyone. People can still shop and give expensive gifts, but we're asking them not to think about world peace until after we have rid the world of all the evil people. For Americans to sing, 'Peace on earth, good will to all,' is just the wrong message to send to our enemies at this time."

The strongest opponents of the Christmas ban were the representatives of retail stores, movie chains and makers of porcelain Christmas figurines. "This is a tempest in a teapot," fumed one unnamed business owner. "No one thinks of the political meaning of Christmas any more. Christmas isn't about a savior who will bring hope to the outcasts of the world; it's about nativity scenes and beautiful lights. History has shown that mature people are perfectly capable of singing hymns about world peace while still supporting whatever war our leaders deem necessary. People long ago stopped tying religion to the real events in the world."

There has been no word on where the suspects are being kept, or when their trial might be held. Authorities are asking citizens who see other foreigners resembling nativity scene figures to contact the Office of Homeland Security.

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Editor's Note: Many thanks to the Rev. Jim Rigby for this wildly creative piece written for a previous Christmas (and of course we tell the Christmas Story year after year after year...).  Jim is pastor of St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church in Austin, TX, and a longtime activist in movements concerned with gender, racial, and economic justice. 

Click here for Jim's article in CommonDreams.org one year ago that provides the context for the literary piece used in this blog post.

You can read some of Jim's other writings at the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-rigby 

This Christmas: Your Adventure, Your Way!!!

Hey Moms and Dads!!!  Are you frantically looking for last minute gifts to stuff those stockings (with care)???  Well, look no further.

Here's a gift that's sure to please (everyone but the recipients of the Hellfire missiles on the real thing). This teeny weeny Predator Drone will fit nicely in any of today's Ultra stretch Super sized Christmas Stockings.

Get yours today; they're disappearing off store shelves fast!!! 

Your child (or children; heck, get one for everybody) will squeal with joy at the site of this small scale model killing machine. Yes - It's "Your Adventure, Your Way." Just as the U.S. gets its way just about everywhere in the world (and where it doesn't it institutes "regime change") your child can have his or her (girls can pilot drones too) way. One can never be too young to learn the important lessons of Empire.

 

After all; that's what Christmas is all about - that cool story about Herod (and the empire over which he ruled), who saw the baby Jesus as a threat and wanted to murder him.  And along the way he murdered his father-in-law, several of his ten wives and two of his sons.  And if that wasn't enough, after being outwitted by those three wise men Herod ordered the slaughter of all boys two years old and younger in Bethlehem and its environs.  Phew!!!  Is this a story of unbridled ambition, fear, hatred and more???  What a reality show this would have been!

 

Herod ignored the laws of God to suit himself and chose the favor of Rome over his own people (I know; this is sounding really familiar).  But hey - he was a skilled politician who knew how to get things done (to keep Rome at the top of the heap).  Wow, does this story sound familiar???

 

Oh yeah, please excuse the impromptu history lesson.  The point is that kids are never too young to be indoctrinated learn.  As for the warning on the package that the Predator Drone is suitable for "ages 3+", I'll leave that decision up to you parents.

 

Peace on Earth (at least our little part of it).

 

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Editor's Note: But really folks, isn't it time to ditch the drones???  Are there not alternatives to violence and killing (in the name of National Security, Homeland Security, War on Terror)???  Is there not another way, and didn't the very person who is central to the Christmas story show us that way???  Isn't nonviolence the only way for those who claim to be Christians???

 

Drones are but one (major) manifestation of the violence that is becoming so deeply rooted in our society.  We must begin to plant seeds of nonviolence and nurture them to build a nonviolent society (and world).  Now is the time to begin, and drones are a concrete issue that we must address.

 

Please look up Drones Watch, a national coalition campaign to monitor and regulate drone use.  There you can learn more about drones and take action for positive change.  It's all about the world in which we want to live - one at genuine peace with justice, or one of perpetual war.

It's Christmas At Ground Zero

Ahhhh the Holidays... Last night I enjoyed a wonderful Holiday music fest with good friends. Lots of Holiday cheer and a great selection of songs and carols; we even had a singalong.

Yet something was missing... What was it??? Of course!!! It was my all time favorite song of the nuclear Holiday season - Christmas At Ground Zero, written and performed by one of the great composers of our (nuclear) age, "Weird Al" Yankovic.

It's a song that conjures up images of glowing reindeer and walks in radioactive snow. This music video version, to the best of my very limited understanding, is the totally official Yankovic-produced version of this great song that is destined to become your family's favorite Holiday tune.

Move over Winter Wonderland - "it's time to duck and cover with your yuletide lover underneath the mistletoe..."

Santa Claus: "Peace on Earth -- Or Else."

It's never too early to think about the Holiday Season (especially the Holiday Protest Season); just ask every retailer bombarding people's televisions with commercial messages bleeding red and green, and just teeming with tinsel.

Well, Santa Claus has finally gotten into the act.  Mr. Claus recently took time off from the last minute toy production madness up at the North Pole to speak out for nuclear disarmament.

Claus travelled, accompanied by a gaggle of his merry elves AND an eight foot-long replica of a thermonuclear armed missile (looking strikingly similar to the Minuteman III - just don't look too closely - recently test launched from Vandenberg Air Force Base), to New York.  Claus's sleigh broke down at Poughkeepsie, NY, and in the spirit of the season, someone loaned Claus a three wheeled bicycle.

Santa and his elves on the way to the United Nations

Claus had a specific destination in mind - the United Nations.  Claus brought a definitive seasonal message to the world's leaders - "Peace on Earth -- Or Else." 

Santa was not allowed inside the UN headquarters, so he shouted his message to all who would listen on the streets of New York.  He and his elves kicked off the Holiday Season with a new rendition of Jingle Bells:

Jingle bells, we're going to Hell
Burning all the way
Oh what fun,
it is to die,
In a fiery nuclear way
Hey!

Bystanders were simultaneously thrilled and terrified by the quirky holiday jingle, and were amazed when Claus told them how much of their tax dollars their own government is wasting on nuclear weapons at the expense of human needs.  "That [spending on weapons of mass annihilation] is so scrooge-like," said Santa.

"It is so easy to get distracted by the materialism of the season, while nuclear annihilation is just a press of a button away.  It's important to put nuclear disarmament on the front burner and turn the heat up.  I feel like the original message of Christmas has been lost thanks to the geniuses on Madison Avenue (right here in New York).  It's time to reclaim that original message of peace, and I'm the jolly old fellow who can do it."

Santa and his elves continued on from the UN building through the city before returning to the North Pole.  They handed out little green toy soldiers to passersby as a reminder of the tragic human consequences of war.

When asked by a reporter if he wasn't just upsetting people's holidays before they've even begun, Santa replied, "Is there ever a convenient time???  Each of us has a responsibility to stand up for what is right and speak out.  Sometimes that goes against the societal norm.  But that should not stop us.  It's a moral responsibility.  I know it's hard for most people to see Santa calling for peace and nuclear disarmament.  But hey, I care deeply about humanity, and especially all those children to whom I'm responsible.  If I don't say something, one day there may be no children for me to deliver presents to.  Now that would be a real tragedy."

Following on those comments Santa said that thanks to his new high speed internet connection at the Pole he can now sign petitions and send emails to decision makers around the world with a click of his "mouse."  "I just signed one [petition] from the folks at Nuclear Age Peace Foundation calling on the United States to take all its land-based thermonuclear armed missiles off high alert status (Is that crazy of what???) and start dismantling them.  I mean... just what good is something that is only designed to incinerate millions of innocent people???"  One of the elves chimed in, "That's just plain crazy!!!" 

A reporter then asked if President Obama was on Santa's famous "naughty or nice" list.  The jolly old guy laughed and said he could neither confirm nor deny the existence of such a list.  He then grimaced and said, "Well, it's safe to say that if such a list existed, the CEO's of all those weapons manufacturers would definitely be on the 'NAUGHTY' list.  It's kind of a no-brainer.  I have a new office staffed by elves who do nothing but track and list all the profiteers around the world who are benefiting from warmaking.  Tragically, that list has been growing by leaps and bounds."

"As for Obama..." and Santa paused for a moment, "redemption is always on the table."

And then Santa was off and pedalling.  As he wheeled across the Brooklyn Bridge with his elves running behind him, one could hear the distant (yet strong) call for

"Peace on Earth.  Good Will to All People."

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Editor's Notes: 

Thanks to the Huffington Post for the story that got the creative juices flowing on this one. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/13/santa-claus-united-nations-joey-skaggs-nuclear-protest_n_2124695.html#slide=1754034

In the true spirit of the season, let us all work (on every level) for PEACE.  Sign petitions; send emails, letters and/or faxes to decision makers; engage others - family, friends, co-workers, people you meet on the street - in the struggle for a peaceful world for all.  What better gift can we give???



US Backs Treaty to Arm the World

Hours after U.S. President Barack Obama was re-elected, the United States backed a U.N. committee's call on Wednesday to renew debate over a draft international treaty to regulate the $85.3 billion global conventional arms trade.

U.N. delegates and gun control activists have complained that talks collapsed in July largely because Obama feared attacks from Republican rival Mitt Romney if his administration was seen as supporting the pact, a charge Washington denies.

An unnamed adminstration spokesperson was quick to point out that "Romney stands to gain [financially] from any treaty that we sign on global arms sales.  Before signing such a treaty, we will ensure that our nation's defense industry is protected from financial harm.  After all, we gobble up a healthy 78% of that global arms pie.  We're talking $66.3 billion in 2011.  That's huge!  And, we're not giving up any of it."



"Does the price include flight training?"

The month-long talks at U.N. headquarters broke off after the United States - along with Russia and other major arms producers - said it had problems with the draft treaty and asked for more time.  In the U.S. a steady stream of Lobbyists for major arms producers have been seen pouring into the Pentagon for secret meetings on the issue.An official at the U.S. mission said Washington's objectives have not changed.

"We seek a treaty that contributes to international security by fighting illicit arms trafficking and proliferation, protects the sovereign right of states like our own to conduct legitimate arms trade, and meets the concerns that we have been articulating throughout," the official said.

"We will  accept neither any treaty that infringes on the constitutional rights of our citizens to bear arms, nor one that infringes on the rights of corporations to sell arms," he said. 

U.S. officials have acknowledged privately that the treaty under discussion would have no effect on domestic gun sales and ownership because it would apply only to exports. 

U.S. weapons producers are watching Treaty negotiations closely.   

A weapons industry insider, who asked not to be named, said that no treaty would ever by signed by the U.S. that would limit the ability of major U.S. arms producers to sell whatever they want, whenever they want, and to whomever they want.  "They [arms producers] have a sweet deal with the Pentagon.  The U.S. provides foreign aid to any number of countries, and they turn around and sink that money into U.S.-made arms.  Is this economic stimulus or what?"

The main reason the arms trade talks are taking place at all is that the United States - the world's biggest arms trader accounting for more than 40 percent of global conventional arms transfers - reversed U.S. policy on the issue after Obama was first elected and decided in 2009 to support a treaty.

In related news, the election seems to have created a run on gun stocks.  A number of stocks, including firearms manufacturers Smith & Wesson and Sturm, Ruger popped Wednesday. Shares of hunting goods retailers Cabela's and Big 5 Sporting Goods were also higher. Nothing like a little right-wing paranoia to help (isolated sectors of) the stock market.

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Thanks to Reuters for the original article that gave the impetus for this "doctored" news article.  http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/11/07/us-arms-treaty-un-idUSBRE8A627J20121107 

The idea of U.S. weapons systems manufacturers and arms dealers giving up one cent of their hard earned money would make their lobbyists all collapse in shock.  We arm the world (to the tune of $66.3 billion in 2011) and that is music to companies like Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Northrup Grumman, General Dynamics and Raytheon.  Ka-Ching!!!

"Arms deliveries to developing countries last year were the highest since 2004, totalling $28 billion, or around 60% of global sales. America and Russia, the world’s leading arms suppliers, accounted for around two-thirds of deliveries to the developing world. America’s exports in particular are helped by a long-standing client base, which orders upgrades, spare parts and support services every year. Arms deals were buoyed last year by unusually high demand from Saudi Arabia." (Source: The Economist)

2013 Weapon Systems Handbook Available Now

The United States Army is excited to announce the release of the 2013 edition of its annual Weapon Systems Handbook, which is overflowing with updated information on dozens of weapon systems available for purchase by foreign countries.  

The U.S. Department of Defense (DOD), in partnership with the nation's top weapons manufacturers, is ready to supply nations anywhere (and everywhere) in the world with the newest and most advanced weapons systems available.

"The systems listed in this book are not isolated, individual products. Rather, they are part of an integrated Army system of weapons designed to equip the Army of the future to successfully face any challenges," according to the Handbook introduction.  That means a developing nation can completely equip its armed forces in complete confidence that its armed forces can meet any challenge presented by an adversary or simply due to the demands of U.S. foreign policy.

A prime example of the products now available for immediate purchase is the RQ-11B Raven Small Unmanned Aircraft System, which is marketed to Denmark, Estonia, Lebanon, and Uganda.

An adequate supply of ammunition is always a concern in purchasing a new weapons system. U.S. weapons contractors, thanks to the partnership with DOD and the generous support of U.S. taxpayers, have plenty of ammunition on hand.  The U.S. sells an endless supply of artillery ammunition both to Israel and to Lebanon.

In an effort to assist nations in acquiring these new and expensive weapons systems the U.S. Government is prepared to provide generous foreign aid packages (to qualifying countries) to allow even the smallest country's army to hit the ground running.

DOD is also prepared to send U.S. Army "advisers" to any country purchasing these highly advanced weapons systems to train armed forces personnel and help fully integrate these weapons systems into the nation's defense. 

To complement the Army's highly trained advisers are a host of private contractors, which can provide additional assistance, employing former military and intelligence personnel who can help take a country's armed forces to the next level.

Countries can rest assured that all weapons systems in the new 2013 catalog are tested under the most rigorous "real-world" conditions, and have helped the U.S. to have the most effective army in the world.  As the catalog's introduction states:

"After 10 years of combat, today's Army is significantly more capable than the Army of 2001. As we draw down from Iraq and Afghanistan, we must remain flexible, adaptable, and agile enough to respond and meet the needs of the combatant commanders."

"Our objective is to equip and maintain an Army with the latest most advanced weaponry to win and return home quickly."

The 2013 edition Weapon Systems Handbook provides just that - "the latest and most advanced weaponry" anywhere. 

The 2013 edition Weapons Systems Handbook is available in both print edition as well as a version for eReaders.

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Loose Nukes Editor's Note:  For anyone who might have even the most remote thought that this is a real news release, forget it!!!  That being said, the 2013 Weapon Systems Handbook is for real.  The U.S. does, indeed, arm the world thanks to a deeply entrenched Military-Industrial Complex that has grown into a monstrous creature that has the entire world in its tentacled grasp.  We should have listened to Ike (President Dwight D. Eisenhower).  Click here to watch Eisenhower's farewell address in which he warned of (and coined the term) the Military-Industrial Complex.

As Fortune Magazine described, "...in backdoor dealings with other nations, American officials act as de facto pitchmen for U.S.-made weapons." 

"Military industries have almost tripled their share of the U.S. economy in just a decade." (David Sirota, America's export economy: arming and fattening the world)

"In 2011 overseas weapons sales by the United States totaled $66.3 billion, or more than three-quarters of the global arms market"  (Johnny Barber, We Are at War, in Common Dreams)
      
Thanks to Stephen Aftergood's Secrecy Blog at the Federation of American Scientists Project on Government Secrecy for the blog post that brought this to our attention, and from which much of the material in this post was plagiarized.  Source URL: http://www.fas.org/blog/secrecy/2012/10/army_weapons.html

Put a drone on your Holiday wish list!!!

Hey Kids,

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa... They're right around the corner, and it's never too early to start your Holiday wish list. 

You probably know - as does every weapons contractor - that there is a huge future in drones, and I just bet you would love to pilot a drone some day.  Maybe right here in the United States, or in one of the dozens of other countries acquiring drone technology.  Just think; sitting back in the comfort of your air conditioned trailer flying a drone thousands of miles away, looking for a wedding party some terrorists to whack.

Well, it's never too early to get started.  And now, if you've been good all year long, you can have your very own drone.  The folks at Brookstone have the newest thing in consumer drone technology, ready to ship right to your front door.

The Parrot® AR.Drone® 2.0 App-Controlled Quadricopter comes with everything you need to do what the real drone pilots do - fly all over your neighborhood, spy on your neighbors, and maybe even unleash an occasional Nerf Hellfire missile (optional accessory) on an unsuspecting victim.

Having a blast with Quadricopter mounted with optional machine gun firing
depleted uranium armor-piercing incendiary rounds, (adult supervision required)
 Just think what you could do to the neighbor's annual potluck???

Just think of the thrill of hovering over the neighbor's pool party and unleashing a barrage of paintball containing missiles (optional accessory).  On-board cameras let you see in real time the anguish on your victims faces as they scramble for safety in a futile effort to escape the hail of paint balls.

But here’s the best part–while in flight, the copter's all-new front camera captures video and stills in sharp 720p HD that you can stream live or record to share with friends on YouTube®, the AR.Drone community or other sites with just a tap. 

The future of drones, now even easier to fly.

• Fly your AR.Drone 2.0 with the free downloadable app for your iOS or Android Device
• Perform advanced stunts ordinary drones can't
• Fly up to 165 feet from your Wi-Fi device
• See what the pilot sees with new front facing camera
• Capture 720p HD videos and stills to stream live or record and share online
• Enjoy controlled, level flying with automatic stabilization system
• AR.FreeFlight 2.0 app lets you save flight data (altitude, speed, duration, and place) to share online
• Play augmented reality games that turn the world around you into a video game
• Terrorize your neighbors with optional weapon systems
• Fly indoors or out–included hull protectors guard rotors around tight corners
• Made of carbon fiber and impact resistant plastic so parts can be changed for easy repair

And the really, really best part is that the Parrot® AR.Drone® 2.0 App-Controlled Quadricopter can be yours for only $299.99, and shipping is absolutely free.  And did I mention??? The Quadricopter comes in three sick color schemes - orange/blue, orange/green and orange/yellow.

Be the first one on your block to own one of these bad boys.  In fact, you had better be the first.  Pretty soon everyone is going to own one, and then all hell is going to break loose.  But hey, you can worry about that later (just like our government).  For now, have fun and spread some terror around the neighborhood.  It's all in good fun!

Click here to order your Parrot® AR.Drone® 2.0 App-Controlled Quadricopter today.  Gift wrap is available at a small additional charge.  And don't forget to remember extra batteries!!!

Note: Due to U.S. Department of Homeland Security requirements, Broodstone is unable to ship AR.Drone 2.0 to addresses outside of the United States. For ages 14 and up. WARNING: Choking hazard due to small parts. Adult supervision required for certain optional weapon systems.   Exposure to Depleted Uranium may cause leukemogenic, genetic, reproductive, neurological, developmental and carcinogenic effects.

Batteries and missiles NOT included!

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OK, so how could we pass this one up???  The same people developing these things for the military (and just about everyone else as well) are obviously going to capitalize on the mass consumer market.  So just when is a drone not a drone???  It's kind of like the old days when kids (mostly boys back in my day) played with toy guns, and enlisted later on to pick up the real thing.  Soon kids will be playing with their "toy" drones in preparation for the real (and lethal) thing.  The real Brookstone URL: http://www.brookstone.com/parrot-ar-drone-2-quadricopter?bkiid=body_zone  Of course, there is not need to worry about the high cost at Brookstone.  Wait long enough and they will be available at Wal-Mart: "Save money.  Live Better." 

Hey kids... Droney's Back!!!

Look out kids (only if you live in a foreign country... for now that is)!  Droney's back, and with a vengeance!!! 

Yes - That fearless cartoonist Tom Tomorrow has done it once again (as he does soooooo well), humanizing those misunderstood mass murdering (soon to be autonomous, and coming to a developing nation far from you) euphemistically termed Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAVs). 

And you know; Tom's got something there.  It's not the drones we should be angry at. They aren't "unmanned" at all.  They really ARE "manned" (or womanned, as the case may be) by a couple of human beings in a trailer, thousands of miles from their "target", backed up by dozens or more fellow human beings. 

 

Yes it requires upwards of a hundred or more highly trained specialists to make sure they've got the right wedding target before unleashing HELLfire missiles on anyone with dark skin, a beard, turban and an AK-47 (nearly every male in Afghanistan). 

 

And don't forget the President (of the United States) who gets to decide (every Tuesday) all the really special victims targets.

 

But what is really special is when drones go back for a second helping (after the first shot) to take out anyone who comes to the aid of those blasted to kingdom come by the initial missile attack.

 

But hey kids, I'm getting off track.  We should really let those cute, little, innocent, freedom-protecting drones speak for themselves.  Don't take my word for it.  Click here to hear more from Droney.

And remember - Drones are YOUR friends!

Bye Kids!!!

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Link to Cartoon: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/10/01/1137164/-The-return-of-Droney

OMG! The Hendersons have the BOMB!!!

Here's something from that Pacific Northwest cartoon genius, Gary Larson, who just happened to draw a few dynamite cartoons about things of a nuclear nature.  This one needs no additional words to convey its message.  Isn't that the brilliance of a great cartoon???