South Korea Could Have It's Own Boomer

Seoul, South Korea (The Loose Nukes): Republic of Korea (ROK) President Yoon Suk Yeol and First Lady of the Republic of Korea Kim Keon Hee recently kicked the tires on one of the US Navy's aging OHIO Class “Trident” submarines in anticipation of possibly purchasing one of the soon to be retired ballistic missile submarines for their own nation.

The Ohio-class ballistic-missile submarine USS Kentucky (SSBN 737) was on a port visit in Busan, South Korea on July 19, 2023 to not only demonstrate the United States’ ironclad commitment to the (ROK) for its extended deterrence guarantee, but to also give the President and First Lady a chance to tour and test drive a fully functioning ballistic missile submarine. A secondary purpose was to scare the pants off of President of the State Affairs Commission of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea Kim Jong Un.

ROK First Lady Kim Keon Hee checking out North Korea.

The 14 OHIO Class submarines currently in service, which represent the US Navy's kick-ass nuclear deterrent force, are scheduled to be replaced by the new and improved Columbia Class, which is slated to begin entering service in 2031. As the aging OHIO Class boats are taken out of service there will be a tremendous opportunity for countries like South Korea to have their very own nuclear deterrent and no longer need to rely on the US nuclear umbrella. It will also provide an opportunity for the US Navy to make some extra cash to keep building all the ships on its wish list.

Besides the deterrence aspect of owning your own ballistic missile submarine, there is also the major prestige factor of owning a vessel capable of incinerating an entire continent with the full complement Trident II D5 missiles loaded with a the maximum number of thermonuclear warheads.

"Ballistic missile submarines (SSBNs) are the most powerful nuclear assets in the world," said Park Won Gon, professor at Ewha Womans University in Seoul. "North Korea's solid-fuel Hwasong-18 ICBM is no match to the SSBN. … North Korea is going to realize the imbalance between its nuclear capabilities and the U.S.'" After those comments, Park was overheard saying, “If Kim messes with us he will be toast.”

During the guided tour of the Kentucky the first couple viewed the missile compartment and they were blown away by the explanation of the Trident missile's capabilities, and nearly choked on their lunch with the realization that even after incinerating all of North Korea in a first strike (which is what Trident is designed for), they would still have plenty of missiles left to deal with China should the need arise.

The couple was assured by U.S. National Security Council Coordinator for Indo-Pacific Affairs Kurt Campbell that the United States is committed to strengthening the ROK to meet its sovereign self-defense needs and to improve its capabilities to operate with U.S. forces to address shared security challenges. At the inaugural meeting of the long-lauded US-ROK Nuclear Consultative Group (NCG), coinciding with the Kentucky's port call, Campbell stated that the US is committed to ensure that the ROK is prepared to show Kim Jong Un who's boss on the Korean peninsula.

When President Yoon asked about the potential price tag, a representative of the U.S. Department of State’s Bureau of Political-Military Affairs assured him that he would be getting a huge price break, and that the Arms Export Control Act (AECA), as amended [22 U.S.C. 2751, et. seq.], authorizes the President to finance procurement of defense articles and services for foreign countries and international organizations. Foreign Military Financing (FMF) may be provided to a partner nation on either a grant (non-repayable) or direct loan basis.

The commanding officer of the Kentucky, Lee Fake (Gold crew), assured President Yoon that prior to purchase, their submarine would receive a thorough overhaul, including reactor refueling.

When asked how he felt about the prospect of owning his very own ballistic missile submarine bristling withorth enough thermonuclear firepower to start World War III, President Yoon retorted, “How can one put a vualue on such a treasure as ultimate nuclear deterrence? I am humbled, and at the same time somewhat agiddy, at the thought of such power.”

Disclaimer/Fine Print/etc: Although most of what is written in this post is true, the ROK first couple did not test drive an OHIO Class submarine, nor do they intend to purchase one for their country (as far as this journalist is aware).

Nukes Ready to Launch Despite Government Shutdown

Hard working (at least those who still have jobs) Americans want to know that their nation's nuclear forces are unaffected by the partial government shutdown.  They need to feel the security that comes with knowing that the thermonuclear-armed missiles ready to launch at those pesky North Koreans (or perhaps Iranians or some other country we haven't yet turned into a pariah state) are being maintained, protected and kept in a state of readiness for that magical moment of nuclear holocaust.

Well, have no fear (or perhaps you should): "Strategic nuclear missiles, submarines, and bombers remain ready despite the U.S. government shutdown and the furloughing of some nuclear force workers, according to the U.S. Strategic Command." That's the official word from an article in The Washington Free Beacon. Here's more from that article.

The federal shutdown caused some civilian nuclear force employees to go on emergency furlough, but operational military forces are unaffected by government closures, a Command spokeswoman said. [Phew!!!]  

“I can say with full confidence that the U.S. nuclear force remains safe, secure, and effective and, at this point, we are not standing down any operational assets,” Navy Capt. Pamela Kunze, director of Stratcom public affairs said. [Hmmm... At what "point" might they stand down some operational assets???]

(scene from the film Dr. Strangelove)

The Omaha-based Strategic Command is in charge of all nuclear deterrence and war fighting forces, including 450 Minuteman III land-based intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs); 14 strategic nuclear missile submarines, each armed with 24 Trident missiles; and 20 B-2 and 78 B-52 nuclear bombers. [Wow, that's a whole lotta "deterrence"!!!]

Most of the ICBMs are on high-alert status that allows them to be launched almost immediately on warning of an imminent nuclear attack on the United States, or after an attack. [Let's hope it's not a false warning!!!]

The missiles are under tight controls and security and require two people to fire them after orders from the national command authority. [Isn't that a relief?!?!?!]

After a 2007 incident when active nuclear missiles were carried by mistake on bombers from Minot, N.D., to Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana, security and handling procedures were improved, according to a Congressional Research Service (CRS) report published in June. [You have to wonder why NO ONE followed the procedures already in place (and why they needed to be "improved")!!!]

Government studies after the mishap found that nuclear forces “had been allowed to atrophy, with evident declines in morale, cohesion, and capability,” the CRS report said. [That certainly instills confidence!!!]  

(more from Dr. Strangelove)

As recently as May, press reports revealed “new concerns about the capabilities and morale of ICBM launch officers,” the report said, noting that the Air Force removed 17 launch officers from duty and sent them for new training. [And now the second in command at STRATCOM gets busted for using counterfeit poker chips at the local casino!!!]

Naval strategic nuclear forces also are systems that can fire nuclear missiles rapidly and normally eight to 10 missile submarines remain on regular patrols in both the Atlantic and Pacific. [Let's hope they don't fire them too "rapidly"!!!]

U.S. strategic bombers also are ready for fast deployment. Two B-52s conducted simulated nuclear strikes near North Korea during exercises in March in response to heightened threats and rhetoric by the communist regime in Pyongyang. [Speaking of poker, we'll see you Kim Jong-un and raise the ante!!!]

According to Stratcom commander Gen. C. Robert Kehler, 60 percent of Stratcom’s force is made up of civilians. [So, all those civilian jobs are non-essential???]

Details on the impact of the shutdown on strategic nuclear force personnel were not immediately available. [As if "details" will ever be available.]

(Read the rest of the article at http://freebeacon.com/nukes-deemed-essential/)

U.S. may put nuclear arms in Constitution

N. Korea Puts Nuclear Arms in Constitution - U.S. Could Follow

North Korea identifies itself as a nuclear power in its revised constitution, according to a copy displayed on the country's official web portal.

The revised North Korean constitution includes
the phrase "nuclear power" (underlined in red).

The constitution was revised at last month's meeting of the rubber-stamp Supreme People's Assembly, and the preface details the accomplishments of former leader Kim Jong-il, claiming he changed the North into a "nuclear power and invincible military superpower."

The move has stimulated a heated debate in the U.S. Congress.  Following on the heels of North Korea's announcement, Rep. Joseph Pitts, R-PA, has called for a Constitutional Ammendment declaring the United States a nuclear power.

When asked about his pursuit of such an ammendment Rep. Pitts replied that "if Kim Jong-un wants to publicize the fact that North Korea has nuclear weapons and use them as a bargaining tool just as his father did, we are going to respond, tit for tat.  And besides; we are the world's greates nuclear power.  Why shouldn't that be enshrined in our Constitution?"

###

Source of original article used in this fake article: N. Korea Puts Nuclear Arms in Constitution, http://english.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2012/05/31/2012053100646.html

North Korea... Who's Next??? And, who cares...

Ladiesssssss and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, and military-trained marine mammals everywhere.  Welcome to the launching of The Loose Nukes!!!

Do you suffer from anxiety, worrying about the roughly 20,000 nuclear weapons around the world, many of which are ready to launch, drop and roll at the whim of a particular nation's fearless leader, or in one or more case a rogue general perhaps?

Do you wonder about all those nuclear warheads (and other nuclear stuff) being transported regularly on our nation's highways and byways?

Do stories of ladders puncturing nuclear missile nose cones, drunk drivers transporting nukes, bombers flying around with nuclear armed missiles (when the crew doesn't even know there are nuclear warheads on those missiles), and stuff like that worry you just a little bit?

And does it scare you just even a tiny bit that the briefcase (with nuclear weapons launch codes and all that important stuff) that follows President Obama around 24 hours a day strapped to the arm of a military officer is called the "FOOTBALL"??? 

If you answered "yes" to even one of these questions, you need to bookmark this Blog.  Of course, if you answered yes to all of these questions, then you should just build a bomb shelter, stock it with tranquilizers, and settle in for the duration.

The Loose Nukes was destined to invade the World Wide Web.  With endless war and the continuing pursuit of nuclear weapons by the U.S. and the rest of the world, we could all use a little humor to take the edge off.  After all, it could all end with some Nervous Nellie pushing the button just because some technician in NORAD (the place from which the U.S. tracks missiles and Santa Claus) loaded a test tape but failed to switch the system status to "test"; DUH! (Yes, that really happened in 1979 back in the dark ages when they actually had "tape")

The Loose Nukes is all about having fun, and maybe even raising a little consciousness while we're at it.

With all the hand wringing about North Korean rocket/missile (call em what you like) launches that barely get off the ground, let alone more than a few hundred miles out to sea before disintegrating, one has to wonder why.  Tom Lehrer's timeless song titled "Who's Next" puts it all in perspective. 

If this doesn't calm your nerves, then all I can say is call a therapist.

With a reverent (or irreverent as the case may be) nod to The Atomic Comics...

Peace,

Leonard