About this Blog

The Loose Nukes is an attempt (by people who should probably be under 24 hour supervised psychiatric care) to bring attention to somewhat serious issues like nuclear weapons, militarism and other seemingly random, unrelated issues through vain attempts at social satire and other futile gestures of total contempt for a fading empire that continues to employ nuclear weapons, the ultimate instruments of an erectile dysfunctional national security state, as instruments of foreign policy. OK, you probably get the idea by now. We are obsessed by run-on sentences, peace and justice, having fun, and don't know when to quit. At any rate, we don't think nuclear weapons are a very good idea, and are most definitely unhealthy for living things. We also think the folks running this Empire should just get over it.

And now the NOT SO FINE PRINT: Read further at your own risk... and remember, DON'T PANIC; this is all SATIRE at its worst (or best, depending on one's mental state)! And some of the stuff in here is even true!!!
Showing posts with label Global Strike Command. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Global Strike Command. Show all posts

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Pizza delivery blamed for nuclear safety violations

US Air Force officers entrusted with the launch keys to long-range nuclear missiles have been caught twice this year leaving open a blast door that is intended to help prevent a terrorist or other intruder from entering their underground command post, Air Force officials said.

The blast doors are never to be left open if one of the crew members inside is asleep – as was the case in both these instances – out of concern for the trouble an intruder could cause, including the compromising of secret launch codes.

An investigative report by the Associated Press found that the most recent violations involving the blast doors were caused by the chronic cravings of launch control crews for delivery pizza.  A launch control officer who wished to remain anonymous told AP that Domino's Pizza, which has a contract with Global Strike Command as its sole pizza supplier, requires that the blast doors remain open whenever an order is called in so that the company can fulfill its "30-minutes or it's free" guarantee.


The blast door violations are another sign of trouble in the handling of the nation's nuclear arsenal. The AP has discovered a series of problems within the ICBM force, including a failed safety inspection, the temporary sidelining of launch officers deemed unfit for duty and the abrupt firing last week of the two-star general in charge. They also discovered that delivery personnel for Domino's Pizza, the official pizza supplier for the Global Strike Command, are not required to receive security clearances prior to entering the top-security launch complexes.

The problems, including low morale, underscore the challenges of feeding personnel and keeping safe such a deadly force that is constantly on alert but is unlikely ever to be used.

The willingness of some launch officers to leave the blast door open at times reflects a mindset far removed from Cold War days when the US lived in fear of a nuclear strike by the Soviet Union. It was that fear that provided the original rationale for placing ICBMs in reinforced underground silos and the launch control officers in buried capsules – so that in the event of an attack the officers might survive to launch a counterattack.

Today the fear of such an attack has all but disappeared and, with it, the appeal of strictly following the blast door rule.  

The crews who operate the missiles are still expected to follow rules without fail, including the prohibition against having the blast door open when only one crew member is awake or when expecting a pizza delivery.

An unnamed missileer told AP that launch control officers often order multiple pizzas at a time and freeze them for later consumption in the event of a nuclear war after which they would be stuck underground for an indefinite time period.  The officer said that, "There's nothing more comforting than the aroma of re-heated pizza after Armageddon."

A spokesperson for Global Strike Command said that the agency is reconsidering its relationship with Domino's, and is considering changing suppliers to Papa Murphy's Take 'N' Bake Pizza in order to avoid the problem with blast doors.

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Editor's Postscript: Material that was plagiarized and embellished in this post was stolen from an article in The Guardian (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/23/us-air-force-nuclear-missiles-blast-door).

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Dr. King Legacy of Equality, Diversity Strengthens Command

Commentary by Warren Ward
Air Force Global Strike Command Programming Division


1/21/2013 - BARKSDALE AIR FORCE BASE, La. -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s 83rd birthday was Jan. 15. . . His courageous crusade for equality was first nationally recognized on Jan. 20, 1986, when President Reagan established the third Monday in January as an official federal government holiday.

Our country, our Air Force and Air Force Global Strike Command can learn much from Dr. King's drive for America to be a nation of equals. . . During his "I Have a Dream" speech given at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. on Aug. 28, 1963, King told a gathering of more than 200,000 Americans, "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the meaning of its creed, 'We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.'"


Dr. King completed his moving presentation with an emphasis on the freedom that equality brings, "...from every mountainside, let freedom ring. . . And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men, white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty we are free at last!"

The Department of Defense is a leader in equal opportunity for all patriots seeking to serve this great nation. . . The vigilant warriors in AFGSC understand they are all equal and unified in purpose to provide a safe, secure and effective deterrent force for the United States. . .

Dr. King would be proud to see our Global Strike team - comprised of Airmen, civilians and contractors from every race, creed, background and religion - standing side-by-side ensuring the most powerful weapons in the U.S. arsenal remain the credible bedrock of our national defense. . . Our team must overlook our differences to ensure perfection as we maintain and operate our weapon systems. . . Maintaining our commitment to our Global Strike team, our families and our nation is a fitting tribute to Dr. King as we celebrate his legacy.


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This one is 100 percent authentic (right down to the photo graphic)!  Yes, it was really written by Warren Ward of the U.S. Air Force Global Strike Command Programming Division.  Can you believe this guy?!?!?!  I guess this guy never listened to or read Dr. King's "Beyond Vietnam" speech.  Besides pulling a few quotes from the only speech quoted by the corporate press around Dr. King's birthday, he probably hasn't read anything else written by Dr. King.  Ward is either extremely ignorant or was attempting to twist Dr. King's dream to support the aspirations of a fading empire.

The author definitely wasn't listening when Dr. King said, "When scientific power outruns spiritual power, we end up with guided missiles and misguided men."


Speaking of dreams, I could not have dreamed this one up.  And if you still don't believe me, read it yourself at the Air Force Global Strike Command website: http://www.afgsc.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123333051 

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

B-2 Bombers need The Midas Touch

WASHINGTON -- The U.S. Air Force has ordered dozens of spare tailpipe components for its stealthy B-2 bomber fleet following the discovery of corroded engine exhaust systems, according to service officials.

“The B-2 is approaching 25 years of service life and the tailpipes are beginning to show signs of wear,” said Michele Tasista, a spokeswoman for the Air Force Global Strike Command, based at Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana.  Tasista quipped that the (original) exhaust system on her 1970 Toyota Corolla (with 300,000 miles) has outperformed the system on the Northrop Grumman-built B-2 "by a country mile." 

"The B-2 tailpipe assembly is failing at a faster-than-expected rate and … that may be the most challenging aspect of keeping [the aircraft] in the inventory,” said a former bomber program official (and employee of Northrop Grumman) who asked not to be named in discussing the sensitive subject. “[We’ve been] afraid that the tailpipe assembly would force you to retire the B-2 earlier -- or you’d get a bill to be paid that would be potentially unacceptable.”  

Air Force officials say they have found an affordable fix: A combination of new spare parts, preventive techniques and repair procedures.

The service has ordered 56 tailpipe spares from Northrop Grumman in an "affordable" $76.6 million (roughly $1.4 million per tailpipe) fixed-price contract awarded last year, using fiscal 2011 funds, according to Sue Murphy -- a spokeswoman for Air Force Materiel Command in Dayton, Ohio -- and other program officials.

The new parts will be available to replace “aged metallic components that are showing typical ‘wear and tear’ as a result of operating in a hot environment,” as the pipes convey engine exhaust to the outside air, according to Gary Roehrig, who directs B-2 product support for defense contractor Northrop Grumman. Each bomber has four tailpipes, one for each engine.

Rusting exhaust systems at Whitemen Air Force Base
These particular components are not repairable and are being replaced to keep the low-observable aircraft functioning, Roehrig said in a written response to questions.  He said his company will provide first delivery of the new spares in two years.  The procurement is to be completed by 2019, the Northrop Grumman official said.

Midas, better known for its famous"Customer First"commitment, attempted to bid on the B-2 tailpipe replacement assemblies, but according to a company spokesperson was thwarted every step of the way.  "They just kept saying we didn't understand how the bidding process works."

Midas called Northrop Grumman "just another opportunistic bottom feeder.  $1.4 million a pop for a tailpipe?  Who's fleecing whom here?  Exhaust systems aren't exactly rocket science.  I bet they used some cheap materials to maximize their greedy bottom line."

We've been building high performance exhaust systems for over 50 years.  We could have delivered those tailpipes for just $99.99 each, completed delivery (and installation) in a matter of weeks, and would have included our famous Lifetime Guarantee*."

When asked why Midas was not considered, and the fix-priced contract instead awarded to Northrop Grumman with absolutely no competition, Tasista replied that "We do not comment on sensitive procurement issues such as this one.  That being said, our partnership with Northrop Grumman and its suppliers will ensure the B-2 remains one of the most survivable weapons systems in the world."

The B-2 was first fielded in 1994 and can carry both nuclear and conventional munitions.  A B-2 pilot who asked not to be named for fear of losing the opportunity for a job at Northrop Grumman after retiring from the Air Force said that he wouldn't trust Northrop Grumman to replace the tailpipe on his aging Volkswagen Rabbit. "They'd charge me an arm and a leg, and I would have no guarantee it would last more than maybe a thousand miles, and that's if I was lucky."

Service and company officials distinguished the internal B-2 tailpipe cracks caused by “wear and tear” over time from allegedly unrelated design-related fissures that have plagued a separate, external component of the aircraft, the “aft deck,” for several years.

Northrop Grumman last year won another gargantuan $109 million contract to manufacture a redesigned aft deck, the company announced in November.  According to a company spokesperson, "the newly redesigned structure reflects Northrop Grumman's thorough thermal and structural analysis of the aft deck its adjoining structures and the operating environment [that should have been conducted in the first place]."

"Implementing a redesigned aft deck is an important part of guaranteeing the long-term viability of the B-2," said Dave Mazur, Northrop Grumman's vice president of Long Range Strike and B-2 program manager. "We are committed to assisting the Air Force in developing and implementing proactive solutions that are in the best interest of Northrop Grumman's bottom line the B-2 fleet."

* Lifetime Guarantee valid for as long as you own your car aircraft

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Editor's Note: Thanks to Global Security Newswire for the article that was butchered to create this piece: http://www.nti.rsvp1.com/gsn/article/b-2-bomber-tailpipe-cracks-compel-new-spare-parts-production/?mgh=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nti.org&mgf=1, and this Northrop Grumman news release: http://investor.northropgrumman.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=112386&p=RssLanding&cat=news&id=1628402