About this Blog

The Loose Nukes is an attempt (by people who should probably be under 24 hour supervised psychiatric care) to bring attention to somewhat serious issues like nuclear weapons, militarism and other seemingly random, unrelated issues through vain attempts at social satire and other futile gestures of total contempt for a fading empire that continues to employ nuclear weapons, the ultimate instruments of an erectile dysfunctional national security state, as instruments of foreign policy. OK, you probably get the idea by now. We are obsessed by run-on sentences, peace and justice, having fun, and don't know when to quit. At any rate, we don't think nuclear weapons are a very good idea, and are most definitely unhealthy for living things. We also think the folks running this Empire should just get over it.

And now the NOT SO FINE PRINT: Read further at your own risk... and remember, DON'T PANIC; this is all SATIRE at its worst (or best, depending on one's mental state)! And some of the stuff in here is even true!!!

Friday, January 17, 2014

NSA Fall Festival: Mark your calendars!

Hey Everyone!  Mark your calendars (see the poster below) well in advance to join us at the National Security Agency (NSA) headquarters for the annual NSA Fall Festival.  It's a great opportunity for everyday people just like you and me to get up close and (not quite too) personal with the NSA.

Of course, you won't learn anything about how the NSA really works; heck, that's an extremely closely guarded secret... well, sort of (no thanks to that Ed Snowden guy).  But hey; it's a time to have fun, and all at great taxpayer expense.  After all; you the taxpayers are paying through the nose so that we can continue our unabated, endless spying on just about everyone on the planet. So what's a little more $$$ on some good, old-fashioned fun.

This is one for the entire family, even the family dog.  In fact, there will be a special booth where NSA employees will embed your family pooch with a free teeny weeny microchip that will allow the NSA to listen in on your family's activities with even greater ease than we do now. The chip also helps you keep track of your pet's wanderings.

There will be plenty of parking, so there is no need for carpooling.  In fact, we advise against it. NSA employees, or more likely private contractors, will be placing secret monitoring/tracking devices on every automobile at the Fall Festival.

An additional free bonus for everyone who attends will be an automatic retinal scan as you enter the Festival area.  It's just one more reason we're building a brand new huge data storage facility in Utah that can actually store yottabytes of data.  Geez!!! Even most folks at the NSA have a hard time fathoming such large numbers.

And kids; you will have the opportunity to learn more about an exciting and profitable (if you choose to work for one of the scores of private contractors doing security work for our nation) career in mass surveillance the protection of our global interests nation.

Tell your family, friends and co-workers. Everyone's welcome to this event.  Check the NSA Website for more details. See you in September!

NSA - Defending Our Nation: Securing The Future

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