About this Blog

The Loose Nukes is an attempt (by people who should probably be under 24 hour supervised psychiatric care) to bring attention to somewhat serious issues like nuclear weapons, militarism and other seemingly random, unrelated issues through vain attempts at social satire and other futile gestures of total contempt for a fading empire that continues to employ nuclear weapons, the ultimate instruments of an erectile dysfunctional national security state, as instruments of foreign policy. OK, you probably get the idea by now. We are obsessed by run-on sentences, peace and justice, having fun, and don't know when to quit. At any rate, we don't think nuclear weapons are a very good idea, and are most definitely unhealthy for living things. We also think the folks running this Empire should just get over it.

And now the NOT SO FINE PRINT: Read further at your own risk... and remember, DON'T PANIC; this is all SATIRE at its worst (or best, depending on one's mental state)! And some of the stuff in here is even true!!!

Friday, October 26, 2012

2013 Weapon Systems Handbook Available Now

The United States Army is excited to announce the release of the 2013 edition of its annual Weapon Systems Handbook, which is overflowing with updated information on dozens of weapon systems available for purchase by foreign countries.  

The U.S. Department of Defense (DOD), in partnership with the nation's top weapons manufacturers, is ready to supply nations anywhere (and everywhere) in the world with the newest and most advanced weapons systems available.

"The systems listed in this book are not isolated, individual products. Rather, they are part of an integrated Army system of weapons designed to equip the Army of the future to successfully face any challenges," according to the Handbook introduction.  That means a developing nation can completely equip its armed forces in complete confidence that its armed forces can meet any challenge presented by an adversary or simply due to the demands of U.S. foreign policy.

A prime example of the products now available for immediate purchase is the RQ-11B Raven Small Unmanned Aircraft System, which is marketed to Denmark, Estonia, Lebanon, and Uganda.

An adequate supply of ammunition is always a concern in purchasing a new weapons system. U.S. weapons contractors, thanks to the partnership with DOD and the generous support of U.S. taxpayers, have plenty of ammunition on hand.  The U.S. sells an endless supply of artillery ammunition both to Israel and to Lebanon.

In an effort to assist nations in acquiring these new and expensive weapons systems the U.S. Government is prepared to provide generous foreign aid packages (to qualifying countries) to allow even the smallest country's army to hit the ground running.

DOD is also prepared to send U.S. Army "advisers" to any country purchasing these highly advanced weapons systems to train armed forces personnel and help fully integrate these weapons systems into the nation's defense. 

To complement the Army's highly trained advisers are a host of private contractors, which can provide additional assistance, employing former military and intelligence personnel who can help take a country's armed forces to the next level.

Countries can rest assured that all weapons systems in the new 2013 catalog are tested under the most rigorous "real-world" conditions, and have helped the U.S. to have the most effective army in the world.  As the catalog's introduction states:

"After 10 years of combat, today's Army is significantly more capable than the Army of 2001. As we draw down from Iraq and Afghanistan, we must remain flexible, adaptable, and agile enough to respond and meet the needs of the combatant commanders."

"Our objective is to equip and maintain an Army with the latest most advanced weaponry to win and return home quickly."

The 2013 edition Weapon Systems Handbook provides just that - "the latest and most advanced weaponry" anywhere. 

The 2013 edition Weapons Systems Handbook is available in both print edition as well as a version for eReaders.


Loose Nukes Editor's Note:  For anyone who might have even the most remote thought that this is a real news release, forget it!!!  That being said, the 2013 Weapon Systems Handbook is for real.  The U.S. does, indeed, arm the world thanks to a deeply entrenched Military-Industrial Complex that has grown into a monstrous creature that has the entire world in its tentacled grasp.  We should have listened to Ike (President Dwight D. Eisenhower).  Click here to watch Eisenhower's farewell address in which he warned of (and coined the term) the Military-Industrial Complex.

As Fortune Magazine described, "...in backdoor dealings with other nations, American officials act as de facto pitchmen for U.S.-made weapons." 

"Military industries have almost tripled their share of the U.S. economy in just a decade." (David Sirota, America's export economy: arming and fattening the world)

"In 2011 overseas weapons sales by the United States totaled $66.3 billion, or more than three-quarters of the global arms market"  (Johnny Barber, We Are at War, in Common Dreams)
Thanks to Stephen Aftergood's Secrecy Blog at the Federation of American Scientists Project on Government Secrecy for the blog post that brought this to our attention, and from which much of the material in this post was plagiarized.  Source URL: http://www.fas.org/blog/secrecy/2012/10/army_weapons.html

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Put a drone on your Holiday wish list!!!

Hey Kids,

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa... They're right around the corner, and it's never too early to start your Holiday wish list. 

You probably know - as does every weapons contractor - that there is a huge future in drones, and I just bet you would love to pilot a drone some day.  Maybe right here in the United States, or in one of the dozens of other countries acquiring drone technology.  Just think; sitting back in the comfort of your air conditioned trailer flying a drone thousands of miles away, looking for a wedding party some terrorists to whack.

Well, it's never too early to get started.  And now, if you've been good all year long, you can have your very own drone.  The folks at Brookstone have the newest thing in consumer drone technology, ready to ship right to your front door.

The Parrot® AR.Drone® 2.0 App-Controlled Quadricopter comes with everything you need to do what the real drone pilots do - fly all over your neighborhood, spy on your neighbors, and maybe even unleash an occasional Nerf Hellfire missile (optional accessory) on an unsuspecting victim.

Having a blast with Quadricopter mounted with optional machine gun firing
depleted uranium armor-piercing incendiary rounds, (adult supervision required)
 Just think what you could do to the neighbor's annual potluck???
Just think of the thrill of hovering over the neighbor's pool party and unleashing a barrage of paintball containing missiles (optional accessory).  On-board cameras let you see in real time the anguish on your victims faces as they scramble for safety in a futile effort to escape the hail of paint balls.

But here’s the best part–while in flight, the copter's all-new front camera captures video and stills in sharp 720p HD that you can stream live or record to share with friends on YouTube®, the AR.Drone community or other sites with just a tap. 

The future of drones, now even easier to fly.
  • Fly your AR.Drone 2.0 with the free downloadable app for your iOS or Android Device
  • Perform advanced stunts ordinary drones can't
  • Fly up to 165 feet from your Wi-Fi device
  • See what the pilot sees with new front facing camera
  • Capture 720p HD videos and stills to stream live or record and share online
  • Enjoy controlled, level flying with automatic stabilization system
  • AR.FreeFlight 2.0 app lets you save flight data (altitude, speed, duration, and place) to share online
  • Play augmented reality games that turn the world around you into a video game
  • Terrorize your neighbors with optional weapon systems
  • Fly indoors or out–included hull protectors guard rotors around tight corners
  • Made of carbon fiber and impact resistant plastic so parts can be changed for easy repair

And the really, really best part is that the Parrot® AR.Drone® 2.0 App-Controlled Quadricopter can be yours for only $299.99, and shipping is absolutely free.  And did I mention??? The Quadricopter comes in three sick color schemes - orange/blue, orange/green and orange/yellow.

Be the first one on your block to own one of these bad boys.  In fact, you had better be the first.  Pretty soon everyone is going to own one, and then all hell is going to break loose.  But hey, you can worry about that later (just like our government).  For now, have fun and spread some terror around the neighborhood.  It's all in good fun!

Click here to order your Parrot® AR.Drone® 2.0 App-Controlled Quadricopter today.  Gift wrap is available at a small additional charge.  And don't forget to remember extra batteries!!!

Note: Due to U.S. Department of Homeland Security requirements, Broodstone is unable to ship AR.Drone 2.0 to addresses outside of the United States. For ages 14 and up. WARNING: Choking hazard due to small parts. Adult supervision required for certain optional weapon systems.   Exposure to Depleted Uranium may cause leukemogenic, genetic, reproductive, neurological, developmental and carcinogenic effects.

Batteries and missiles NOT included!


OK, so how could we pass this one up???  The same people developing these things for the military (and just about everyone else as well) are obviously going to capitalize on the mass consumer market.  So just when is a drone not a drone???  It's kind of like the old days when kids (mostly boys back in my day) played with toy guns, and enlisted later on to pick up the real thing.  Soon kids will be playing with their "toy" drones in preparation for the real (and lethal) thing.  The real Brookstone URL: http://www.brookstone.com/parrot-ar-drone-2-quadricopter?bkiid=body_zone  Of course, there is not need to worry about the high cost at Brookstone.  Wait long enough and they will be available at Wal-Mart: "Save money.  Live Better." 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Hey kids... Droney's Back!!!

Look out kids (only if you live in a foreign country... for now that is)!  Droney's back, and with a vengeance!!! 

Yes - That fearless cartoonist Tom Tomorrow has done it once again (as he does soooooo well), humanizing those misunderstood mass murdering (soon to be autonomous, and coming to a developing nation far from you) euphemistically termed Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAVs). 

And you know; Tom's got something there.  It's not the drones we should be angry at. They aren't "unmanned" at all.  They really ARE "manned" (or womanned, as the case may be) by a couple of human beings in a trailer, thousands of miles from their "target", backed up by dozens or more fellow human beings. 

Yes it requires upwards of a hundred or more highly trained specialists to make sure they've got the right wedding target before unleashing HELLfire missiles on anyone with dark skin, a beard, turban and an AK-47 (nearly every male in Afghanistan). 
And don't forget the President (of the United States) who gets to decide (every Tuesday) all the really special victims targets.
But what is really special is when drones go back for a second helping (after the first shot) to take out anyone who comes to the aid of those blasted to kingdom come by the initial missile attack.
But hey kids, I'm getting off track.  We should really let those cute, little, innocent, freedom-protecting drones speak for themselves.  Don't take my word for it.  Click here to hear more from Droney.

And remember - Drones are YOUR friends!

Bye Kids!!!


Link to Cartoon: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/10/01/1137164/-The-return-of-Droney