Washington (The Loose Nukes): President Donald Trump, in one of his most meaningful executive orders to date, decreed that, “No longer will shower heads be weak and worthless,” the White House said in a news release on Wednesday. "With a stroke of my great big powerful pen, I am officially ending the War on Showers! I'm gonna make shower heads great again," trumpeted Trump.
Thie latest executive order eradicates restrictions on water flow from all shower heads sold in the United Snakes. The order directs Energy Secretary Chris Wright to rescind a definition of shower heads first implemented by President Barack Obama.
This is by no means the first time Trump has attempted to redefine shower heads (or anything else for that matter). He introduced a rule in his first term, dramatically increasing the amount of water that showers could use. In 2017 Trump infamously said, "Look, we have plenty of water in this great nation. Just look at all those Great Lakes; all that water, it's just great, great. We can just pump all that beautiful water all over the country; we just have to beat the Canadians to it. It will the greatest infrastructure project in the history of the world."
At that time Trump was absolutely giddy about reversing any measures put in place by the Obama administration, calling his new shower head rule "my big, beautiful Golden Shower [head]."
It is the second time that Mr. Trump as president has attempted to redefine a shower head. A rule he introduced in his first term drastically increased the amount of water that showers with multiple nozzles could use. The Biden administration later reversed that change.
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Trump has complained for many years about the ridiculously small amount of water coming out of shower heads. “I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair,” President Trump said on Wednesday in the Oval Office.
“I stand under the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It’s ridiculous. Even the showers here in The White House don't work. That's just criminal, The White House, can you imagine that, drip, drip, drip, just horrible."
During his first term in the White House, Trump lamented that his showers did not supply enough water for him to achieve his “perfect” hair, part of a campaign against what he described as excessive government regulation.
“So shower heads — you take a shower, the water doesn’t come out,” Mr. Trump once said at a an event touting his business-friendly policies. “You want to wash your hands, the water doesn’t come out. So what do you do? You just stand there longer or you take a shower longer? Because my hair — I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect. Perfect.”
At a dinner with Republican leaders in 2023, Trump repeated his complaint: “You know I have this gorgeous head of hair — when I take a shower, I want water to pour down on me. When you go into these new homes with showers, the water drips down slowly, slowly.”
Chris Wright, who says he is all in for rolling back any regulation that restricts people's Gog-given right to pump as much water as they can (afford to) pump, was the CEO of Liberty Energy, a fracking company, before taking the post as Energy Secretary. “I am confident that we can reverse the irresponsible policies of the Biden administration and prioritize endless and wasteful use of natural resources. Under his [Wright's] leadership, the DOE will once again support the great American corporation, and allow companies like Nestle to pump all the water they want anywhere they want,” said Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah), who chairs the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee, in a statement.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, Trump really did issue an executive order about... well, yes - SHOWER HEADS. He is definitely on a roll (back) these days. Much of the quotes in this post are real, with a few words changed here and there (just for fun and emphasis). it's so nice to see Trump focusing on so many important issues (like wasting our most precious and life-giving resource). See references below if you don't believe me... Truth is far stranger than fiction these days!
REFERENCES:
1) "MAINTAINING ACCEPTABLE WATER PRESSURE IN SHOWERHEADS"; The White House, April 9, 2025; https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/04/maintaining-acceptable-water-pressure-in-showerheads/
2) "Trump Tackles His Longtime Pet Peeve: Weak Shower Heads"; New York Times; April 10, 2025; https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/10/us/politics/trump-showers-water-pressure.html
3) "The president pushes for more flow from the nation’s shower heads.", New York Times, August 13, 2020; https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/13/us/politics/the-president-pushes-for-more-flow-from-the-nations-shower-heads.html
4) Senate confirms fracking CEO Chris Wright to lead Energy Department; The Hill; February 03, 2025; https://thehill.com/policy/energy-environment/5123956-chris-wright-confirmed-energy-department/
5) "California Authorities Say Nestlé Is Illegally Gulping Up Public Water"; Los Angeles Times, April 26, 202; https://lamag.com/news-and-politics/nestle-water-california-legal-dispute
