The Loose Nukes: Trump picks "Fox and Friends" to do White House press briefings

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The Loose Nukes is an attempt (by people who should probably be under 24 hour supervised psychiatric care) to bring attention to somewhat serious issues like nuclear weapons, militarism and other seemingly random, unrelated issues through vain attempts at social satire and other futile gestures of total contempt for a fading empire that continues to employ nuclear weapons, the ultimate instruments of an erectile dysfunctional national security state, as instruments of foreign policy. OK, you probably get the idea by now. We are obsessed by run-on sentences, peace and justice, having fun, and don't know when to quit. At any rate, we don't think nuclear weapons are a very good idea, and are most definitely unhealthy for living things. We also think the folks running this Empire should just get over it.

And now the NOT SO FINE PRINT: Read further at your own risk... and remember, DON'T PANIC; this is all SATIRE at its worst (or best, depending on one's mental state)! And some of the stuff in here is even true!!!

Friday, March 30, 2018

Trump picks "Fox and Friends" to do White House press briefings

WASHINGTON (The Loose Nukes) – In yet another White House personnel shakeup, Chief of Staff John Kelley earlier today announced the firing of White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Kelley, looking baffled as he faced the White House press corp, said that, “President Trump has personally chosen the co-anchors of Fox News' “Fox and Friends” to replace Sanders. Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt and Brian Kilmeade will take turns doing White House press briefings in order to have the least impact on their popular morning show.”

In an early morning Tweet, Trump said, “Thank you to @foxandfriends for for being soooo great! We are going to have so much fun! Oh yeah!”

When asked by a reporter why he fired Sanders, Trump replied, “It's about change. There will always be change, I want to see change, and I think you want to see change. And you're gonna love these new guys. They are such great communicators. Great people at Fox, and these are the greatest, besides Bolton; he's great too.”

Sanders was briefly surrounded by members of the White House Press Corp as she was being escorted out of the White House. She refused to answer reporters' questions, although she was overheard muttering something about “moron” as she exited through the security gate.