About this Blog

The Loose Nukes is an attempt (by people who should probably be under 24 hour supervised psychiatric care) to bring attention to somewhat serious issues like nuclear weapons, militarism and other seemingly random, unrelated issues through vain attempts at social satire and other futile gestures of total contempt for a fading empire that continues to employ nuclear weapons, the ultimate instruments of an erectile dysfunctional national security state, as instruments of foreign policy. OK, you probably get the idea by now. We are obsessed by run-on sentences, peace and justice, having fun, and don't know when to quit. At any rate, we don't think nuclear weapons are a very good idea, and are most definitely unhealthy for living things. We also think the folks running this Empire should just get over it.

And now the NOT SO FINE PRINT: Read further at your own risk... and remember, DON'T PANIC; this is all SATIRE at its worst (or best, depending on one's mental state)! And some of the stuff in here is even true!!!

Sunday, May 4, 2025

Trump Executive Order Says "You're Outa Here Big Bird!"


Washington (The Loose Nukes): In what may be his most sweeping executive order yet affecting Freedom of the Press, President Donald Trump has decreed that Fox News will be the only media organization recognized by The White House. 

Trump said it was a pretty tough decision, but concluded that even though Fox has occasionally questioned his decisions, "for the most part they've been pretty good. "I have an ability... I don't watch the lefty fake news networks like NBC anymore. They're as bad as CNN. And you gotta love Fox & Friends... they've got that Ainsley Airhardt; oh, she's a looker, I gotta tell you. It's my favorite show on TV.

The order states that all funds saved by the implementation of his executive order "ENDING TAXPAYER SUBSIDIZATION OF BIASED MEDIA", which revokes all funding currently being received by National Public Radio (NPR) and the Public Broadcasting Service (PBS), will be distributed to Fox News, which is well known for its "fair, accurate, unbiased, and nonpartisan news coverage."

Finally, the order allows the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to revoke the broadcast license of any television station if the president becomes displeased with their coverage. 

“We don’t have a Free and Fair ‘Press’ in this Country anymore,” Trump wrote in a recent post. “We have a Press that writes BAD STORIES, and CHEATS, BIG, ON POLLS. IT IS COMPROMISED AND CORRUPT. SAD!

Although not explicitly stated in the executive order, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced that Fox News personnel will be assigned the entire first two rows in the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room, traditionally reserved for the most prominent news organizations.

In response to a question by a Washington Post reporter about what it will take for reporters to earn the President's respect, Leavitt retorted that "if media outlets don't bend the knee"... "they will lose big time. Any more questions?"

END NOTE: OK, so the executive order doesn't go quite as far as this fake story would have you believe - that is if you believe much of what you read on the internet - but it is not so far off when you consider how far the U.S. is sliding down the slippery slope into the fascist abyss. Beware my friends... remember that old saying: "First they came for Big Bird..."

REFERENCES

Executive Order: ENDING TAXPAYER SUBSIDIZATION OF BIASED MEDIA; THE WHITE HOUSE, MAY 1, 2025; https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/05/ending-taxpayer-subsidization-of-biased-media/

USA: Trump verbally attacked the media more than 100 times in run-up to election; Reporters Without Borders; November 25, 2024; https://rsf.org/en/usa-trump-verbally-attacked-media-more-100-times-run-election 

100 DAYS OF HOAXES: Cutting Through the Fake News; The White House; April 29, 2025: 
https://www.whitehouse.gov/articles/2025/04/100-days-of-hoaxes-cutting-through-the-fake-news/

How a Professional Bully Is Winning Control of the Media; Common Dreams; April 25, 2025; https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/trump-controls-media?