A Little Help for Jeremy Corbin's Nuclear Weapons Policy

The big news out of the United Kingdom these days is that Labour Leader Jeremy Corbin, the person who one day could have his finger poised over the little (or maybe it's big) red nuclear button, has stated unequivocably that he would never push the button [that would send the message to Trident submarine crews to launch their Trident II D-5 missiles bristling with really nasty thermonuclear warheads that would bring about the end of tourism in whatever part of the world those missiles land].

However, there is just one slight problem with Corbin's position. On a recent BBC news program, panelists reminded us that "if Corbin becomes Prime Minister but the party decides to keep Trident, it will be tricky, because there is no point in having a nuclear deterrent unless you're willing to use that crucial element of bluff, and Jeremy Corbin doesn't seem like the kind that can" (bluff that is) - he's no poker player.

Well, one of the panelists on the BBC show The News Quiz has come up with a brilliant solution. Andy Hamilton says, "If we don't have nuclear weapons, but pretend that we do... we could still have a red button... It wouldn't be hard; we'd build missiles out of cardboard or recycled plastic or whatever... so they show up on... satellite photos; mysterious convoys going up and down; fake the occasional accident; fence off Wales..."

Of course, this is not necessarily an altogether original idea. The North Koreans are geniuses when it comes to clever uses for cardboard (and other cheap materials made in forced labor camps). Just look at how the world pays attention when fearless leader Kim Jong-un thumps his chest and crows about his latest nuclear feat.

A North Korean prototype.

So there you go! We just "scrap Trident but don't tell anyone it's been scrapped. Brilliant!!!

Rather than wasting billions of pounds (or in the case of the United States roughly a hundred billion dollars; $1,000,000,000 Billion) for a Trident replacement, we could simply pretend to have built a replacement.

Since the official policy of the US (and I'm sure it's the same for the UK) is to "neither confirm nor deny the presence of nuclear weapons," what's the difference?

Hey, it works for North Korea!

Just think of the savings. The big question is, can we trust the government (either one) to put the money to good use? After all, they decided to build these useless nuclear weapon systems in the first place. But that's another discussion for another day...

At any rate, I think Hamilton might be on to something here... Have a listen at The News Quiz.

Editor's Note: There really is no nuclear button for the President or Prime Minister to push; it's much more complicated than that - phew!